My challenge is for one to speak their thoughts vs holding on to them for days or months. This is a dangerous challenge because some people don't deserve to even have any of their words heard, but anyone actually reading a blog does. What I have come to learn with myself is why spend so much time analyzing ones thoughts to the point where much time gets wasted. Just simply be open. Share. Enjoy. Expect a good or a bad answer. The world won't end with any answer. And if it would then you have spent too much time on that thought or idea. If you have a thought about someone then share it. You can tell a married woman that she is beautiful and not have any under meaning to it. Yes it's great for the hubby to say it, but it's great for anyone to give out a compliment that really means it. It's powerful. Unfortunately, this day and age does create that hidden meaning compliment feeling... A nation driving by sexual desire and less genuine truths.
Words get said, but not meant. Anyone can say anything, but not anyone can show what they say.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
and a revision...
I think it's always good to put ideas down on paper or well e-paper to let them seep outside the mind... and that is what I have done. I have come to realized that one yr of school vs two years is not that bad. What I have realized is that if I do school during the day and end up getting home at 1:30 or later in the morning that I won't allow enough time for me to settle down or even do the simple chores that can be done in say thirty minutes like dishes or a quick vacuum. I also realize that if my days off end up being recovery days from exhaustion then I am not on a good track since having designated days to sleep in.. recover.. be lazy will only alter my body in a negative way. I also realize that I would become an exhausted slug and not be an adequate dad for my daughter. I'm reverting to my decision to do evening classes. I found out they run mon through thurs 5:30-9:30.
Reasons. 1. Getting home at 9:32 gives me hours to wind down. Yes I can get there within thirty seconds, but I give the 1 1/2 minutes to leave the classroom and get to my vehicle. 2. Not having class on friday I can keep my schedule and that will give me plenty of time with my daughter. I would be having a hard time trying to get a schedule that has good days off. Example I could try for a sat sun off, but that means I would get off work at 2am. And if I get classes that start at 7:30 or 8:00... that is not much sleep at all. Five hours or less five days a week. I can keep my current schedule of going in to work at 8:30, which is nice. I can get skye to preschool with no problems without having to get up even earlier for either one of us. I would have enough time to stop by home after work to grab a snack and then back out the door. But another four hours won't harm me. I can eat dinner afterwards. I have to say I do enjoy the option to go anywhere for lunch if I am wanting something specific even though I am trying really hard to just eat some simple pbjs for budget reasons. 3. Holiday hours I'm really not too worried about. They usually give you the option of two shift types. One is earlier and you work just eight hours a day six days a week, but can be held the full twelve, but a good chance of not or coming in at ten am and that is the one where you will be staying late vs the earlier shift. I learned the careers have to get in their overtime amount before the contract employees can even go over 40. I'm just going to put my trust in that everything will work out with school and work on hours 4. By doing evening classes once I get a few classes done and know the basics I can start my job searching/applying. I can always work the new job while I finish up the rest of my classes. But schooling during the day makes it much harder to do. Yeah I could just jump to evening classes, but that means my window of job searching is limited... just can't jump to evening classes half way through the semester... 5. I can actually be somewhat social and get out for a few hours as well. 6. I do remember working the evening shift when I started and I was way more tired doing that then when I switched to day shift. I feel more confident with this decision.
Reasons. 1. Getting home at 9:32 gives me hours to wind down. Yes I can get there within thirty seconds, but I give the 1 1/2 minutes to leave the classroom and get to my vehicle. 2. Not having class on friday I can keep my schedule and that will give me plenty of time with my daughter. I would be having a hard time trying to get a schedule that has good days off. Example I could try for a sat sun off, but that means I would get off work at 2am. And if I get classes that start at 7:30 or 8:00... that is not much sleep at all. Five hours or less five days a week. I can keep my current schedule of going in to work at 8:30, which is nice. I can get skye to preschool with no problems without having to get up even earlier for either one of us. I would have enough time to stop by home after work to grab a snack and then back out the door. But another four hours won't harm me. I can eat dinner afterwards. I have to say I do enjoy the option to go anywhere for lunch if I am wanting something specific even though I am trying really hard to just eat some simple pbjs for budget reasons. 3. Holiday hours I'm really not too worried about. They usually give you the option of two shift types. One is earlier and you work just eight hours a day six days a week, but can be held the full twelve, but a good chance of not or coming in at ten am and that is the one where you will be staying late vs the earlier shift. I learned the careers have to get in their overtime amount before the contract employees can even go over 40. I'm just going to put my trust in that everything will work out with school and work on hours 4. By doing evening classes once I get a few classes done and know the basics I can start my job searching/applying. I can always work the new job while I finish up the rest of my classes. But schooling during the day makes it much harder to do. Yeah I could just jump to evening classes, but that means my window of job searching is limited... just can't jump to evening classes half way through the semester... 5. I can actually be somewhat social and get out for a few hours as well. 6. I do remember working the evening shift when I started and I was way more tired doing that then when I switched to day shift. I feel more confident with this decision.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Decisions
Well I might as well give an update before I just vanish off the planet for a year. I'm on my fourth school choice and hopefully the last. I'm going to the wichita area technical college so it will just focus skills on a trade skill. I'm going into welding and so far it looks like my gen ed requirements will be all completed by transfered courses so I will actually get an associates degree in welding and only be taking welding classes. The online school was not for me. Not was it too difficult to have a steady pace I also realized accounting is not my career choice. I was getting too greedy and selfish and wanted to get with a big company and work my way up, but I know that only means my devotion for work increases that much more and my corruption does too. Sorry I think many big wigs high in power make way too much than they really should and people on the bottom of the ladder work harder then they do. And I thought about the work and even though it's out of retail.. I'm just not that type of nerdy style any ways... and yes I ate at Talliano's pizza the other day and there was a CPA office next door and yes the fella in there seriously had the typical accounting outfit... So instead I need to heavily work out for a year and have bulging muscles so when I have my welding flamethrowing and heavy steel mask I can work with my shirt off flexing all day... that's how welders are in the movies right? But my concern lies in my current job. One is the holiday schedule... I can be held up to twelve hours for the six days I will work. And night class starts at 5:30... not the way to end a semester missing half the class... Last year there was no twelve hour days and many times not even eight hour days, but this year will be even more unpredictable with us getting volume from two of the centers that will be closed in september or in that time frame. That proposes a big worry. The other issue is the classes would be mon through thurs 5:30 to 9:00 I believe. That stretches the program to two years so I would have to deal with work and hours changing even longer. Another issue is they are starting to bring everyone in to work an hour later and my current shift that would make me get out at six pm and that means missing class... And no shift change openings for the day shift has been up for a few months now. My next option... move back to the night shift. I started working the night shift and wasn't too bad, but when I was doing the two jobs and school (well didn't really do much in there but wing most of what I did) I would be tired in the evenings. But I was also coming from a job of being super bored and drained vs if I was coming in from a day of school of interesting learning I think I will be more vitalized. Which comes to my decision of going back to evenings. Chances are I will be going in to work between four and five. I can't stay much later than one am.. The other plus is if I have any break time such as lunch or even a thirty minute here or there between classes I am literally a minute from the school. If that even. Turn right from there go under bridge and I'm about home... same street and all. Earliest class starts at 7:30 and latests to stay is 3:30.. this way I put work in a better situation.. if I suddenly have to stay twelve hours during the holiday... it would suck completely, but I won't run over into school... I may just get a few hours here and there and learn powernapping in my vehicle haha. But getting schooling done in a year gives me a better chance to start looking for a career sooner and is also better than two years since my current job is not set in stone ever. Better technology to less mail volume and how knows in two years maybe this location closes and leaves only one. I don't see it happen in one year and not really two since another location closes sometime next year.. but year three who knows. And I know I won't have the budget to drop down much from what I make know.
I'm putting my financies in check now, but I can't just make them vanish any time soon or even in the next five years. I can rid most of my credit card debt quickly, but that rather means I use up my available home equity line of credit. Which isn't too bad at 5% vs 20% 16%... But even with paying my equity and preschool that can eat up a full paycheck sometimes leaving me with a hundred bucks.. Then the other check goes to bills... Fun times... But if I only have to do another year and get a career going where i can get back into 401k and some benefits... I will just be more comfortable and can manage my debt a tad better and be able to handle upcoming surprises... like a car for my daughter. :)
Which means depending on the work schedule I can get.. I'm hoping for fri sat or fri sun... sat sun be great, but there are 541 people that get top picks over my choice so odds are slim for any of those, but I will keep on trying. I just don't want to work evening on friday and a weekend since that does take a good chunk away from my daughter vs when I had friday evenings open with my daughter... but again just going to be a sacrfice I will have to do and then maybe I can have weekends off at my career and actually get holidays off and paid for them too! I know Skye will understand if not now when she is older she will. I guess I can work sat and sun since if I'm going in at five I still get two full days with her... pretty much takes out weekend social life, but I'm so sporadic on social life no big deal. I have stayed out later more on the weekdays then the weekends any ways, but it will mean no going out will be happening... It will only may be four nights a month I can get the chance to go out... I won't be going out after work if I only have to get up in six and half hours to get to school. I think a year won't have a drastic change on everyone and everything... So maybe my dad or brother will get to read the three stories at night for sat and sun unless I can go home early and survive by doing so... I think will since my daughters time is worth more than the money I would make to only chip away at a debt a bit faster. Open work schedule offerings are very unpredictable as well... I got a day shift last year I think in september or so... and got a better day shift not much later and then there were no shift offerings... I think it all depends on people leaving and people changing shifts that creates the shift bidding to open up. So maybe I will just take a 40 hour evening shift no matter the days off for now just to be safe. Just as long as I can get either sat or sun off I will be happy.
I did downgrade to my old phone and dropped texts down to 200 a month. So I will have no access or free access to the net and won't be texting much and that is why my onlline pressence will be very little. If I have thirty minutes to be at home before going to work I won't be hoping on FB or twitter and reading up on everything and posting... Simply because I just can't. But since I have some concerned peeps I might pop on the data plan on my phone since it's fifteen bucks... I bet I will end up doing so.. I can justify it since I know fishing trips will be even harder when I have work and school to compete and one trip a longer away trip and hauling a boat as well and food can cost me a hundred bucks in one day. So if I miss two of those big trips... then that covers my data plan for the year... I will decided when everything is all set. For school I do know financial aid is a go just have to wait and see with the award letter. That is the biggest concern. The program will cost around $8k. I'm accepted and now it's just waiting for the transcripts to be evaluated and see all the courses that will transfer. But the advisor said from Newman alone it looks like all the prereq classes should be covered. (WSU trasncript not arrived or in system yet) I have gone many years w/out even going out once! So I think one year of very little going out I can manage.
So this is my final plan... If it doesn't work I don't know exactly what to do... Maybe get my mafia going strong and get the right members. Even shape up the town a bit.. while banking the dough... no uzzis and machine gun business.. be right to the point.. high precision rifles that will be under our own name and we will be members of the NRA so we can freely have them on our gun rack in our vehicle. Since I'm not a purebred anything... I guess it will be my muttfia.
I'm putting my financies in check now, but I can't just make them vanish any time soon or even in the next five years. I can rid most of my credit card debt quickly, but that rather means I use up my available home equity line of credit. Which isn't too bad at 5% vs 20% 16%... But even with paying my equity and preschool that can eat up a full paycheck sometimes leaving me with a hundred bucks.. Then the other check goes to bills... Fun times... But if I only have to do another year and get a career going where i can get back into 401k and some benefits... I will just be more comfortable and can manage my debt a tad better and be able to handle upcoming surprises... like a car for my daughter. :)
Which means depending on the work schedule I can get.. I'm hoping for fri sat or fri sun... sat sun be great, but there are 541 people that get top picks over my choice so odds are slim for any of those, but I will keep on trying. I just don't want to work evening on friday and a weekend since that does take a good chunk away from my daughter vs when I had friday evenings open with my daughter... but again just going to be a sacrfice I will have to do and then maybe I can have weekends off at my career and actually get holidays off and paid for them too! I know Skye will understand if not now when she is older she will. I guess I can work sat and sun since if I'm going in at five I still get two full days with her... pretty much takes out weekend social life, but I'm so sporadic on social life no big deal. I have stayed out later more on the weekdays then the weekends any ways, but it will mean no going out will be happening... It will only may be four nights a month I can get the chance to go out... I won't be going out after work if I only have to get up in six and half hours to get to school. I think a year won't have a drastic change on everyone and everything... So maybe my dad or brother will get to read the three stories at night for sat and sun unless I can go home early and survive by doing so... I think will since my daughters time is worth more than the money I would make to only chip away at a debt a bit faster. Open work schedule offerings are very unpredictable as well... I got a day shift last year I think in september or so... and got a better day shift not much later and then there were no shift offerings... I think it all depends on people leaving and people changing shifts that creates the shift bidding to open up. So maybe I will just take a 40 hour evening shift no matter the days off for now just to be safe. Just as long as I can get either sat or sun off I will be happy.
I did downgrade to my old phone and dropped texts down to 200 a month. So I will have no access or free access to the net and won't be texting much and that is why my onlline pressence will be very little. If I have thirty minutes to be at home before going to work I won't be hoping on FB or twitter and reading up on everything and posting... Simply because I just can't. But since I have some concerned peeps I might pop on the data plan on my phone since it's fifteen bucks... I bet I will end up doing so.. I can justify it since I know fishing trips will be even harder when I have work and school to compete and one trip a longer away trip and hauling a boat as well and food can cost me a hundred bucks in one day. So if I miss two of those big trips... then that covers my data plan for the year... I will decided when everything is all set. For school I do know financial aid is a go just have to wait and see with the award letter. That is the biggest concern. The program will cost around $8k. I'm accepted and now it's just waiting for the transcripts to be evaluated and see all the courses that will transfer. But the advisor said from Newman alone it looks like all the prereq classes should be covered. (WSU trasncript not arrived or in system yet) I have gone many years w/out even going out once! So I think one year of very little going out I can manage.
So this is my final plan... If it doesn't work I don't know exactly what to do... Maybe get my mafia going strong and get the right members. Even shape up the town a bit.. while banking the dough... no uzzis and machine gun business.. be right to the point.. high precision rifles that will be under our own name and we will be members of the NRA so we can freely have them on our gun rack in our vehicle. Since I'm not a purebred anything... I guess it will be my muttfia.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Intro to my short stories
To begin I am writing five short stories… I spend lots of time in thought. I also envision how I would want to live in this world if I had all the capabilities or if the right or wrong chance happens. The stories reflect a bit of me with my own desires, but also to just maybe grab someone else out in the world that might be living their life and could maybe just live it a little differently. My stories are not true and yes some may have variations of them in the outside world… stories… movies... etc. But sometimes repeating doesn’t hurt if it gets one thinking. Feel free to disagree, agree, argue, anything… I hope I can make a difference to someone or at least get some people to think more about who they are… who they want to be… I am in no way saying my thoughts are right. Just my personal opinions on life and how I see it and try to live by it. My next blog will be a major one that is about me. I will make sure to make it known that it’s the truth about me.
Story 1
Fame and fortune…
where does that lead you? To me… nowhere… why do I have to make people pay to enjoy my talent. My name is Thomas. I grew up a simple life. I had a keyboard growing up. The simplest keyboard you could imagine. I didn’t live with fancy things. I didn’t have many friends… or any. I just kept to myself. I grew a passion for playing. I never took a lesson, but just kept on practicing on my own. I bet I don’t play correctly at all, but I can now play. I never excelled at school. I didn’t have the smarts to exceed expectations and barely met them. When I finished high school I went to work at a music store. Piano was my passion. My job was simple. Pay was small. I just make enough to live off on my own with a little extra to save. It took years of saving to buy a nice keyboard. I wanted a piano, but too heavy and too big for the small place I live in. But I’m happy. I’m actually really good at playing. I probably could outperform many professionals, but you may ask why don’t I play and make the big bucks. That’s not who I am… that is not where my happiness lies. You ask “Do I only play to entertain myself then?” I play for the less fortunate… I play for free… I play to let people feel. Let me give you an example.
I woke up thinking to myself that I just want to be somebody for others. I have a skill, but I don’t want the fame and fortune. That is where corruption lies. I’m going to play for people that would never expect such an act to be played for them. I went to the hospital……. I walked inside choose a floor and went there. I went to the nurses’ station and I asked the nurses who here has not had a visitor since they have been here. They told me room 207. I knocked on room 207, but did not get an answer. I went ahead and walked in with keyboard in hand. There was an old man lying in his bed. He carried no expression on his face, but he was awake. Just lying there. Looking up. He looked so lost and sad. “Sir, I’m here because I care. I don’t know your name, but I still care. I’m going to play you a song that will made just for you. I don’t play for money I don’t play for fame. Just here to play for someone I feel they need to know they are still cared for.”
I setup my stand and plugged in my keyboard. I gently pushed key by key. Looking into this sad mans eyes. He managed to slowly lift his head to watch the keyboard as if the notes where floating right to him to hold him. He almost had enough in him to slowly smile, but not yet. I would close my eyes and let my fingers be my eyes and my care for this man to be my notes. I never met him before, but I just feel that he needs someone for something. I looked out the window. Looking outside carried the darkest clouds screaming down rain. It just felt like such a painful storm… so I played even louder. My body becomes an instrument with the keyboard. The man’s eyes became full of tears. I knew it was time to finish this song for him. I laid my fingers on the last six keys and let them carry a tone that was the most delicate tone to be heard… the overtone that was created was heavenly. And it was. I let go of the keys. The man looked to me. “Son”, he said. “I have been in here for two months and no one seems to care that I existed. I lived a great life and I was a wonderful man. Until…. I lost my wife after sixty years. She was my everything and all I wanted was to be with her. My health started to decline and brought me here. I just needed a sign to let me go.”
What I felt I will never be able to explain. I really think this man was stuck on this earth for one last thing to happen to show him that greatest still exists in this world.
The man said, “You have allowed me to let go and be with my wife. I have only been on borrowed time, but just seemed like I couldn’t leave. What you have done for me is amazing. I never asked for something like this to happen. It felt like my wife was right beside me the whole time you were playing telling me it’s time to come home. And I’m not going to pass her up on that. Thank you.”
The man closed his eyes and off he went with a grin that would last a mile. I sat there as the nurses and doctors came in. They knew that it was time for him to go. They covered him up and I packed my things and walked out. I just did not know just what to feel. Did I help this man die… or did I give him life again. I just kept quiet knowing an answer will come one way or another. I got to the main doors and it was pouring out. I didn’t want to hang around any longer, but I didn’t want my keyboard to get wet also… but I just held it tight and started to walk out in the pouring rain… Suddenly to my amazement the rain stopped… just enough to get to my car… maybe my answer just came.
(What kind of influence do you want to have on someone’s life?)
I woke up thinking to myself that I just want to be somebody for others. I have a skill, but I don’t want the fame and fortune. That is where corruption lies. I’m going to play for people that would never expect such an act to be played for them. I went to the hospital……. I walked inside choose a floor and went there. I went to the nurses’ station and I asked the nurses who here has not had a visitor since they have been here. They told me room 207. I knocked on room 207, but did not get an answer. I went ahead and walked in with keyboard in hand. There was an old man lying in his bed. He carried no expression on his face, but he was awake. Just lying there. Looking up. He looked so lost and sad. “Sir, I’m here because I care. I don’t know your name, but I still care. I’m going to play you a song that will made just for you. I don’t play for money I don’t play for fame. Just here to play for someone I feel they need to know they are still cared for.”
I setup my stand and plugged in my keyboard. I gently pushed key by key. Looking into this sad mans eyes. He managed to slowly lift his head to watch the keyboard as if the notes where floating right to him to hold him. He almost had enough in him to slowly smile, but not yet. I would close my eyes and let my fingers be my eyes and my care for this man to be my notes. I never met him before, but I just feel that he needs someone for something. I looked out the window. Looking outside carried the darkest clouds screaming down rain. It just felt like such a painful storm… so I played even louder. My body becomes an instrument with the keyboard. The man’s eyes became full of tears. I knew it was time to finish this song for him. I laid my fingers on the last six keys and let them carry a tone that was the most delicate tone to be heard… the overtone that was created was heavenly. And it was. I let go of the keys. The man looked to me. “Son”, he said. “I have been in here for two months and no one seems to care that I existed. I lived a great life and I was a wonderful man. Until…. I lost my wife after sixty years. She was my everything and all I wanted was to be with her. My health started to decline and brought me here. I just needed a sign to let me go.”
What I felt I will never be able to explain. I really think this man was stuck on this earth for one last thing to happen to show him that greatest still exists in this world.
The man said, “You have allowed me to let go and be with my wife. I have only been on borrowed time, but just seemed like I couldn’t leave. What you have done for me is amazing. I never asked for something like this to happen. It felt like my wife was right beside me the whole time you were playing telling me it’s time to come home. And I’m not going to pass her up on that. Thank you.”
The man closed his eyes and off he went with a grin that would last a mile. I sat there as the nurses and doctors came in. They knew that it was time for him to go. They covered him up and I packed my things and walked out. I just did not know just what to feel. Did I help this man die… or did I give him life again. I just kept quiet knowing an answer will come one way or another. I got to the main doors and it was pouring out. I didn’t want to hang around any longer, but I didn’t want my keyboard to get wet also… but I just held it tight and started to walk out in the pouring rain… Suddenly to my amazement the rain stopped… just enough to get to my car… maybe my answer just came.
(What kind of influence do you want to have on someone’s life?)
Story 2
But I love her
A friend comes over with extreme excitement. “Hey hey hey! I’m so much in love with this girl!” I think to myself… oh boy… I know how he can get so excited about everything. I ask him “How long have you known her?” “I dunno… does that really matter? I really like her!” I ask him, “Do you know her last name?” “I dunno… that can come later!”
I told him to sit down for a second. “Listen… know your feelings before you venture to far.” What I am going to try for him won’t work for everyone or many people, but maybe at least give him some incite. “Close your eyes. Relax and take some deep breathes. Think about her.” I give a few moments to have him think. “Now tell me what do you see?” His response is what I have expected. “I see her long sexy legs and I move up through her curves and see her smile with her long blond hair!” He then opens his eyes with a big smile. He asks, “So what was that all about?” I tell him what he needs to hear. “What you just described and having that cheesy grin sounds more like lust to me. You gave one sentence and that was it. Describing someone you love should be so much more. Let me give this a go and I will tell you what I see when I think of my wife when I knew I was in love with her.” I close my eyes. I relax. I almost go into a trance. I let my world go and let her world enter. I start to talk. “I… I don’t see anything when I’m thinking about her right now.” I know my friend has a blank face hearing this. “I can’t see anything. My heart is beating so hard my thoughts can even begin to grow. They start then it’s the next intense thump keeps the moment clear and free. My heart has never felt this power before and it’s showing me “Hey this is serious!”. Wait I’m not done. Now my heart is allowing more to enter my mind. I still can’t see anything… I feel something… I feel this warm glow.. almost like this dark image is bright as can be. Maybe it’s not darkness that I see, but such a bright warm glow that I can’t see… because I don’t need to see for my answer. I hear laughter… It’s hers. And it’s real. I can only laugh with her. The times we have are so surreal and our laughs take us to faraway places.” I open my eyes and I look right next to me. “She’s right here. She doesn’t even have to be here to know she’s here.” My eyes become glossed over my smile so light and true. “When I don’t need to see her with my eyes closed and when I can see her when she’s not here with my eyes open… That’s how I know I love her.”
(I have seen many times people get seriously involved way to fast. I have been there myself a few times. And it does end in hurt. From working at the jewelry store I have seen many men come in young and old be all excited and end up buying an engagement ring. And I have seen many of them come back in to return it. A coworker and I were working with a couple and the guy was very excited and the girl.. just was lacking much emotion… she held a secret she couldn’t tell him… Yes he ended up getting a ring and not a cheap one. I want to say it was $4-5k. A few weeks later the ring came back. The girl was seeing someone else. Love is very powerful in good and bad ways. Just don’t let love hit you in a bad way.)
I told him to sit down for a second. “Listen… know your feelings before you venture to far.” What I am going to try for him won’t work for everyone or many people, but maybe at least give him some incite. “Close your eyes. Relax and take some deep breathes. Think about her.” I give a few moments to have him think. “Now tell me what do you see?” His response is what I have expected. “I see her long sexy legs and I move up through her curves and see her smile with her long blond hair!” He then opens his eyes with a big smile. He asks, “So what was that all about?” I tell him what he needs to hear. “What you just described and having that cheesy grin sounds more like lust to me. You gave one sentence and that was it. Describing someone you love should be so much more. Let me give this a go and I will tell you what I see when I think of my wife when I knew I was in love with her.” I close my eyes. I relax. I almost go into a trance. I let my world go and let her world enter. I start to talk. “I… I don’t see anything when I’m thinking about her right now.” I know my friend has a blank face hearing this. “I can’t see anything. My heart is beating so hard my thoughts can even begin to grow. They start then it’s the next intense thump keeps the moment clear and free. My heart has never felt this power before and it’s showing me “Hey this is serious!”. Wait I’m not done. Now my heart is allowing more to enter my mind. I still can’t see anything… I feel something… I feel this warm glow.. almost like this dark image is bright as can be. Maybe it’s not darkness that I see, but such a bright warm glow that I can’t see… because I don’t need to see for my answer. I hear laughter… It’s hers. And it’s real. I can only laugh with her. The times we have are so surreal and our laughs take us to faraway places.” I open my eyes and I look right next to me. “She’s right here. She doesn’t even have to be here to know she’s here.” My eyes become glossed over my smile so light and true. “When I don’t need to see her with my eyes closed and when I can see her when she’s not here with my eyes open… That’s how I know I love her.”
(I have seen many times people get seriously involved way to fast. I have been there myself a few times. And it does end in hurt. From working at the jewelry store I have seen many men come in young and old be all excited and end up buying an engagement ring. And I have seen many of them come back in to return it. A coworker and I were working with a couple and the guy was very excited and the girl.. just was lacking much emotion… she held a secret she couldn’t tell him… Yes he ended up getting a ring and not a cheap one. I want to say it was $4-5k. A few weeks later the ring came back. The girl was seeing someone else. Love is very powerful in good and bad ways. Just don’t let love hit you in a bad way.)
Story 3
Consumed with Work
A woman in her late twenties is with a very busy company devoted to success. It’s the job where you work extremely hard and you push yourself beyond that. She has moved up with the company and has never missed a day or has ever been late. She will plenty of times stay hours and hours late to get the job more complete. If her boss ever asked her to stay late or even later she never hesitated. This place wasn’t much of a family either. Everyone just seemed to mind their own business and just came there to get the job done. She had no kids and is single. She focused and excelled in school and got with this company since she graduated. She carried the term “work-a-holic.” Until one day…. Well really it took a few days to really hit her.
When she leaves work and on her way home is a small little park… nothing fancy minor playground equipment, a slide, something to climb on, and a few swings. The park always seemed empty no matter when she drove by… but one person… a teenage girl sitting on the swing. This was a little after five pm… The next day… there she was again, but it was eight pm… the next day… she was there again… the swing was just barely swaying… she was looking down… she looked like she almost had no life left inside her. The woman that just seems to only focus on work started to feel a tear coming down her cheek. Something just hit her hard… This girl is hurting so bad. What am I doing with my life? All I do is wake up go to work and come home spent and eat dinner and go to bed to just repeat. My days off I just work at home doing work that is already done. The next day… she decided to do something different.
She went to work as usual… Worked her hard as usual… but left on time, which doesn’t happen too often… She came up to the park again… the girl was there same spot, same lost sway… I park right on the street where she is at. She gets out… and walks towards the swing set.. The girl doesn’t even look up. She stays looking off into the ground. The lady sits down in the swing next to her. She looks over at the girl… “Hey.” The lady still doesn’t know what to really say… she just used to working… pretty much being a machine. “I see you here every day and I can no longer drive by without stopping.” She introduces herself and the girl still isn’t responding. “I know you don’t know me and sometimes I don’t think I even know who I am and what I’m doing here. But if you don’t mind… I want to just sit with you and be here..” The girl still doesn’t respond… just a feeling where if you brought a hundred roses they wild wilt away and become tears. The lady just felt so much emotion from this girl. Sometimes you don’t need to hear to know how someone feels. One hour passed… silence… Two hours passed… silence.. The lady just wanted to know what she could say, but thought maybe silence for tonight is all she needed to say. She only hopes that her time spent with this girl will be a start. The third hour passes… The girl says, “I’m going home now….” She gets up and starts to walk away. The lady still not sure what to say… But she says, “I will be here tomorrow.” The girl stops for a few seconds and continues to walk home. The lady sat there for another hour. She doesn’t even know what is happening with this girl, but it took her an hour just to handle the emotion she picked up. Something inside her just felt differently… maybe something started having a different beat. The lady went home had dinner and went to bed.
The next day she went to work and again left on time. The boss seemed to notice her leaving the same time as yesterday, but just looked back down into his paperwork. Again the girl was there in the same swing with the slow sway. The lady parked and walked to the swing next to the girl. She sat down and again said “Hey” The girl seemed to look up a little, but avoiding eye contact. The lady told the girl her name and the girl managed to say her name back. The lady then said, “If you don’t mind I would like to sit here with you. I know I may not understand or know what to do or say, but I’m going to be right here for you.” An hour passed and silence…. The second hour left as soon as the first… The third hour came up again… The girl said, “I should be getting home now.” The lady said, “Okay, be safe.” The girl again stopped and said, “Thanks…..” The lady said, “For what?” “For noticing me….” The girl managed to look back and let the lady get a glimpse from one of her eyes as it dropped a tear to the ground. The lady just looked to the sky… tears filled her eyes. She just thought to herself… maybe I’m here to not work work work… but maybe just simply care about someone I don’t know about. If I can make a difference in one person’s life… She got up… went home… at dinner then went to bed.
Day three… she goes to work… gets all done… leaves on time… The boss this time asks where she is going. She just responds, “I have something important to do today.” The boss didn’t ask any more questions. The lady parks in her usual spot and takes her usual swing. She looks up at the girl and says, “Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to sit here for a while.” The girl says, “I would like you to.” The lady gave a faint smile as the girl looked to her. The girl looked back to the ground… “Have you ever lost someone close to you?” “I never had anyone close to me. I just worked hard at school day and night. I went to college and did the same. I moved away from home and started working here. I would wake up go to work and work some more. You have lost someone haven’t you?” “My mom…….. Now I feel that I have no one….” “What about your dad?” “He sounds like you… his life is only work…. I’m not work related so I’m not in it. He works early and doesn’t come home until late at night.” The lady holding back her tears…. Sadness for the girl that has no one… self pity on herself because she never allowed anyone to be in her life and she just works it away…. “Well, you now have me.” The girl is now full of tears… The lady stands up and offers her arms… the girl gets up and accepts the hug. The lady says, “The old me is no more. Every day I will be here for you. I will be your support. I will catch your tears. We both now have someone.” The girl smiled, “I need to get home now… thank you..” The lady watched her walk off and went in her car… and sat for a few minutes… She’s never felt like this before… such power flowing through her… such a simple act to just care about someone, but so moving that she couldn’t even turn her car on… After a few minutes she was on her way home. Dinner then to bed… but not to sleep… She spent the next two hours thinking about this girl that lost her mom and has no one else. She feels like she now has a family even if it’s this girl that is around ten years younger than her. I make plenty of money and I want to be involved in this girl’s life. I want to always be the big sister that is always there. She closed her eyes with her ideas in mind and went to sleep.
Next day, in to work… kept busy and to herself… getting ready to leave on time again… But this time her boss stopped her… I need you to stay tonight and get this done… and it’s not an option. The lady stood up to him looked him in the eyes… “I can’t and I won’t. There is something more important than this work you want me to do. I’m sorry I will not stay. Even if you have a pink slip on my desk in the morning I will be proud to accept it. What I’m doing has much greater value than what I do here.” She turned and walked out the door… The boss was speechless… He just had to know what she was doing… He kept his distance, but he for once in his life left on time to. He followed the lady all the way to the park, but he kept out of sight… His eyes then became wide open… his jaw dropped a little… He say the lady go up to this teenage girl and give her a hug…. He was about speechless…. “My….. daughter……” …. “a small smile… haven’t seen that since….” He was out of any more words and did what he did best… went back to work….
The lady told the girl… “These swings are hurting my butt… lets go get some dinner and I will take you home. They went to a nice restaurant and ate a glorious meal. And they stayed for hours just talking. The girl talked about times she had with her mom and the lady told her all the times she had working so hard at school… like the time she had no paper left to write her essay and it was four am… She took one of her white sheets and cut it in paper size and finished her essay… “I got an A for that paper… I don’t think it was that good either, but maybe for creativity!” The drive to the girls house was just full of warmth… like the heater was on, but it wasn’t. Two women and their lives turned around in a few days. She dropped the girl off at home and said “See you tomorrow!”
The next day, she went to work expecting some type of punishment waiting her… but there was nothing… Even looking at the boss’s office he seemed to really keep to himself the whole day…
Weeks have passed and the two have grown to know each other well. Each day doing something different and some days just sitting back at the swings… but this time seeing who can swing the highest. Sadness turned to laughter. The lady said, “I know your pains will never go away, but let this greatness we both now share fill you up and help you on any sad day.”
This day is one that took many by surprise… The lady had a memo on her desk… it was from her boss… everyone seemed to be in shock… the boss that seemed to work from early morning to early night and probably in his sleep… wrote something no one ever expected… He was stepping down from his position… He was no longer wanting to be the boss… He wanted to be a regular coworker that can leave at the right time… He put in this memo… It has come to my attention that I have failed when I was needed most and I feel it will take a long time for me to win. I have lost two people in my life, but I only hope I can save one. As the lady finished reading and put the memo down… she looked up and saw her boss… He said, “I know understand. I know where you go after work…. That beautiful, wonderful girl you go to see…. She’s my daughter… and I’m sure she mentioned me… and I’m the failure…” The lady looked up, “You haven’t failed… you just lost track of what is most important. But it’s time to get back on track. Your little girl is happy, but still in so much pain. I can’t help her with that pain… only a pain you can help. Let me help you begin this process, but it will be your journey.”
The lady went to pick up the girl… They greeted with warm hugs… The lady said, “Tonight is going to be very different… It won’t be easy… but it’s time…” The girl began to have a worried sad look thinking it’s a goodbye…. But as that thought entered her head the lady said, “No… this is not a goodbye and you will never here that from me! But there is one matter that for tonight I can’t be a part of.” The girl looked up to see her father appear… The lady said, I will leave you two alone, but I will see you tomorrow. The girl in full tears not believing her eyes… The dad full of tears as well. “I’m sorry… I will never be able to say it enough. I haven’t been here for you in the time of greatest need… But I’m here to fix that… I gave up my position at work so I can be here for you. Someone stood up and told me she was not going to stay later any more because there was something more important than her job! I then found out it was someone… it was you… The lady is one of my coworkers… I followed her one day and saw her with you… I did not know what to feel… except failure… I went back to work… shut my door and cried… Each day I thought more and more… and finally said no more! What is most important to me isn’t her at my desk all the time… it’s home… it’s you forever. You are my family and that is the term I will be proud to carry…. The girl could not speak… tears only fell as she embraced her father knowing he’s a changed man… he’s her dad and he’s here to stay.
(It’s so easy to get caught up in your work. Too many people have the drive to just make more and more money… to only realize the more you make the more you spend and need to survive. You get a bigger house, which means higher taxes, bills, more stuff! What lifestyle is most important to you? Working nonstop? I believe in a hard work ethic, but I will have my limits. Or will you go to work to get the job done, but not be exhausted to take care of who matters most in your life. Your spouse? Your kids? Your family? Your friends? Heck just even a stranger that has that frown? You would give them up for yourself to just work your life away? Me? I would leave a job without second thoughts before giving up on anyone. I’m here to not work my life away.)
When she leaves work and on her way home is a small little park… nothing fancy minor playground equipment, a slide, something to climb on, and a few swings. The park always seemed empty no matter when she drove by… but one person… a teenage girl sitting on the swing. This was a little after five pm… The next day… there she was again, but it was eight pm… the next day… she was there again… the swing was just barely swaying… she was looking down… she looked like she almost had no life left inside her. The woman that just seems to only focus on work started to feel a tear coming down her cheek. Something just hit her hard… This girl is hurting so bad. What am I doing with my life? All I do is wake up go to work and come home spent and eat dinner and go to bed to just repeat. My days off I just work at home doing work that is already done. The next day… she decided to do something different.
She went to work as usual… Worked her hard as usual… but left on time, which doesn’t happen too often… She came up to the park again… the girl was there same spot, same lost sway… I park right on the street where she is at. She gets out… and walks towards the swing set.. The girl doesn’t even look up. She stays looking off into the ground. The lady sits down in the swing next to her. She looks over at the girl… “Hey.” The lady still doesn’t know what to really say… she just used to working… pretty much being a machine. “I see you here every day and I can no longer drive by without stopping.” She introduces herself and the girl still isn’t responding. “I know you don’t know me and sometimes I don’t think I even know who I am and what I’m doing here. But if you don’t mind… I want to just sit with you and be here..” The girl still doesn’t respond… just a feeling where if you brought a hundred roses they wild wilt away and become tears. The lady just felt so much emotion from this girl. Sometimes you don’t need to hear to know how someone feels. One hour passed… silence… Two hours passed… silence.. The lady just wanted to know what she could say, but thought maybe silence for tonight is all she needed to say. She only hopes that her time spent with this girl will be a start. The third hour passes… The girl says, “I’m going home now….” She gets up and starts to walk away. The lady still not sure what to say… But she says, “I will be here tomorrow.” The girl stops for a few seconds and continues to walk home. The lady sat there for another hour. She doesn’t even know what is happening with this girl, but it took her an hour just to handle the emotion she picked up. Something inside her just felt differently… maybe something started having a different beat. The lady went home had dinner and went to bed.
The next day she went to work and again left on time. The boss seemed to notice her leaving the same time as yesterday, but just looked back down into his paperwork. Again the girl was there in the same swing with the slow sway. The lady parked and walked to the swing next to the girl. She sat down and again said “Hey” The girl seemed to look up a little, but avoiding eye contact. The lady told the girl her name and the girl managed to say her name back. The lady then said, “If you don’t mind I would like to sit here with you. I know I may not understand or know what to do or say, but I’m going to be right here for you.” An hour passed and silence…. The second hour left as soon as the first… The third hour came up again… The girl said, “I should be getting home now.” The lady said, “Okay, be safe.” The girl again stopped and said, “Thanks…..” The lady said, “For what?” “For noticing me….” The girl managed to look back and let the lady get a glimpse from one of her eyes as it dropped a tear to the ground. The lady just looked to the sky… tears filled her eyes. She just thought to herself… maybe I’m here to not work work work… but maybe just simply care about someone I don’t know about. If I can make a difference in one person’s life… She got up… went home… at dinner then went to bed.
Day three… she goes to work… gets all done… leaves on time… The boss this time asks where she is going. She just responds, “I have something important to do today.” The boss didn’t ask any more questions. The lady parks in her usual spot and takes her usual swing. She looks up at the girl and says, “Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to sit here for a while.” The girl says, “I would like you to.” The lady gave a faint smile as the girl looked to her. The girl looked back to the ground… “Have you ever lost someone close to you?” “I never had anyone close to me. I just worked hard at school day and night. I went to college and did the same. I moved away from home and started working here. I would wake up go to work and work some more. You have lost someone haven’t you?” “My mom…….. Now I feel that I have no one….” “What about your dad?” “He sounds like you… his life is only work…. I’m not work related so I’m not in it. He works early and doesn’t come home until late at night.” The lady holding back her tears…. Sadness for the girl that has no one… self pity on herself because she never allowed anyone to be in her life and she just works it away…. “Well, you now have me.” The girl is now full of tears… The lady stands up and offers her arms… the girl gets up and accepts the hug. The lady says, “The old me is no more. Every day I will be here for you. I will be your support. I will catch your tears. We both now have someone.” The girl smiled, “I need to get home now… thank you..” The lady watched her walk off and went in her car… and sat for a few minutes… She’s never felt like this before… such power flowing through her… such a simple act to just care about someone, but so moving that she couldn’t even turn her car on… After a few minutes she was on her way home. Dinner then to bed… but not to sleep… She spent the next two hours thinking about this girl that lost her mom and has no one else. She feels like she now has a family even if it’s this girl that is around ten years younger than her. I make plenty of money and I want to be involved in this girl’s life. I want to always be the big sister that is always there. She closed her eyes with her ideas in mind and went to sleep.
Next day, in to work… kept busy and to herself… getting ready to leave on time again… But this time her boss stopped her… I need you to stay tonight and get this done… and it’s not an option. The lady stood up to him looked him in the eyes… “I can’t and I won’t. There is something more important than this work you want me to do. I’m sorry I will not stay. Even if you have a pink slip on my desk in the morning I will be proud to accept it. What I’m doing has much greater value than what I do here.” She turned and walked out the door… The boss was speechless… He just had to know what she was doing… He kept his distance, but he for once in his life left on time to. He followed the lady all the way to the park, but he kept out of sight… His eyes then became wide open… his jaw dropped a little… He say the lady go up to this teenage girl and give her a hug…. He was about speechless…. “My….. daughter……” …. “a small smile… haven’t seen that since….” He was out of any more words and did what he did best… went back to work….
The lady told the girl… “These swings are hurting my butt… lets go get some dinner and I will take you home. They went to a nice restaurant and ate a glorious meal. And they stayed for hours just talking. The girl talked about times she had with her mom and the lady told her all the times she had working so hard at school… like the time she had no paper left to write her essay and it was four am… She took one of her white sheets and cut it in paper size and finished her essay… “I got an A for that paper… I don’t think it was that good either, but maybe for creativity!” The drive to the girls house was just full of warmth… like the heater was on, but it wasn’t. Two women and their lives turned around in a few days. She dropped the girl off at home and said “See you tomorrow!”
The next day, she went to work expecting some type of punishment waiting her… but there was nothing… Even looking at the boss’s office he seemed to really keep to himself the whole day…
Weeks have passed and the two have grown to know each other well. Each day doing something different and some days just sitting back at the swings… but this time seeing who can swing the highest. Sadness turned to laughter. The lady said, “I know your pains will never go away, but let this greatness we both now share fill you up and help you on any sad day.”
This day is one that took many by surprise… The lady had a memo on her desk… it was from her boss… everyone seemed to be in shock… the boss that seemed to work from early morning to early night and probably in his sleep… wrote something no one ever expected… He was stepping down from his position… He was no longer wanting to be the boss… He wanted to be a regular coworker that can leave at the right time… He put in this memo… It has come to my attention that I have failed when I was needed most and I feel it will take a long time for me to win. I have lost two people in my life, but I only hope I can save one. As the lady finished reading and put the memo down… she looked up and saw her boss… He said, “I know understand. I know where you go after work…. That beautiful, wonderful girl you go to see…. She’s my daughter… and I’m sure she mentioned me… and I’m the failure…” The lady looked up, “You haven’t failed… you just lost track of what is most important. But it’s time to get back on track. Your little girl is happy, but still in so much pain. I can’t help her with that pain… only a pain you can help. Let me help you begin this process, but it will be your journey.”
The lady went to pick up the girl… They greeted with warm hugs… The lady said, “Tonight is going to be very different… It won’t be easy… but it’s time…” The girl began to have a worried sad look thinking it’s a goodbye…. But as that thought entered her head the lady said, “No… this is not a goodbye and you will never here that from me! But there is one matter that for tonight I can’t be a part of.” The girl looked up to see her father appear… The lady said, I will leave you two alone, but I will see you tomorrow. The girl in full tears not believing her eyes… The dad full of tears as well. “I’m sorry… I will never be able to say it enough. I haven’t been here for you in the time of greatest need… But I’m here to fix that… I gave up my position at work so I can be here for you. Someone stood up and told me she was not going to stay later any more because there was something more important than her job! I then found out it was someone… it was you… The lady is one of my coworkers… I followed her one day and saw her with you… I did not know what to feel… except failure… I went back to work… shut my door and cried… Each day I thought more and more… and finally said no more! What is most important to me isn’t her at my desk all the time… it’s home… it’s you forever. You are my family and that is the term I will be proud to carry…. The girl could not speak… tears only fell as she embraced her father knowing he’s a changed man… he’s her dad and he’s here to stay.
(It’s so easy to get caught up in your work. Too many people have the drive to just make more and more money… to only realize the more you make the more you spend and need to survive. You get a bigger house, which means higher taxes, bills, more stuff! What lifestyle is most important to you? Working nonstop? I believe in a hard work ethic, but I will have my limits. Or will you go to work to get the job done, but not be exhausted to take care of who matters most in your life. Your spouse? Your kids? Your family? Your friends? Heck just even a stranger that has that frown? You would give them up for yourself to just work your life away? Me? I would leave a job without second thoughts before giving up on anyone. I’m here to not work my life away.)
Story 4
Look Beyond Sight
(I’m going to start this off in the easy to relate fantasy realm… but the meaning is for any time)
There was a fair maiden as beautiful as can be. Every day she would wonder past the castle walls and be greeted by all the gents and not so gents… well many were not greets… but nearly pickup lines. She was just beautiful… long blonde hair, flowing elegant dress… the curves to desire… Each day she ventured along the castle admiring the pottery that seemed that the most skilled wealthy pottery that can be found in any far off land. The pieces were exceptional… only a true master could make such work… But once she started seeing someone she just got so much attention. She could have any guy do any task she wanted… Any gift she could get and sometimes without even asking… She wanted to eat at the pub with no open seats she would get nearly any seat offered to her. Wow! Life must be amazing… but for her… it was far from that.
It would seem that she should be happy… She could have anything in the world… but she doesn’t… She doesn’t have true happiness… it stops at her skin. She walks into a room and eyes just gaze at her beauty. And then it stops there. No one seems to go past that. Where it matters most. She lives a life of kindness and caring, but each day would be harder and harder because the favors in return and to be kind and caring, but to just be with such “eye candy.” Her heart became heavy… Days and nights became saddened. Each day she became more and more tired… she needed to figure out something to do.
She woke up early and started a morning stroll. She left before the sun came up to get out of the city limits. By time it was light out she was strolling by the stream alone… She placed her hands over her heart… said “I release you into the wild to be safe for I cannot trust anyone within the city walls…” That instant a dove flew from her hands… “Each day I will come and visit you to make sure you are ok…” She just delivered her heart into the dove. No one would earn her heart because no one would really see it… see her for just who she is. They only get lost in her beauty… People think and dream of being so beautiful… but it’s not an easy living.
Each day she would stroll by the river and make sure the dove would be near…. Just in case… she never gave up hope completely. But one morning the dove wasn’t there… she looked and looked, but didn’t find that dove. She even ventured far down the river and past a little hut that always had a fire going and seemed ever so busy. The next day she looked and looked and didn’t find the dove… passed that same house, but saw something this time, but the person did not ever look up once. Next day a bit more empty… she ventured again… still no dove… has her heart flown away for no one to ever have? Again… the person at the hut kept his head down yet again. A week passed and no dove… no looks from the man at the hut… She has lost hope, but each day she kept on looking to fill that emptiness.
Two weeks later…. She still has no dove... no heart… She stopped at the hut… She went up to the man… “I have passed by her for two weeks now and you have not even looked at me once.” The man responded, “I don’t need to look you in the eyes to know just who you are. I know your beauty even though I have never seen you. I don’t need to see you. It doesn’t matter how your hair looks, how tall you are, what you wear.” The girl was curious…. Why is he saying these things…. After a pause… The man pulled out from behind some bushes a dove… with a bandage on its wing. “I found this dove injured by the shore… I picked it up and held it close. For two weeks I tended to this wonderful creature and learned so much about it. It’s faint heart didn’t beat for one, but for two… for you… It fell to see if anyone would notice. Each day I shared the warmth of myself to help it recover. I know who you are without even meeting you. You have such a warmth inside you… such a glow… such pain… Some days I thought the dove wouldn’t make it, but I never gave up… I just gave it that much more care to keep it going.” The man still never looking up… “The dove is better… here is your heart back… Don’t let it go, but keep it close and well guarded. Never give up hope. If you do the right person will just walk right by you. Take back your heart and know that there are people that really do care no matter how rare they may be.” He reached out to give the dove back to her. Still not looking up. She grabbed the dove and as soon as she did he turned around and went behind his hut… Curiosity struck the fair maiden… She just had to see what he did day in and day out… She always say smoke burning from the back, but never knew just what he did… and what she say amazed her eyes… He was the potter that provided the work ever so elegant being shown at the castle. She never imagined such work to be done here. Until she stopped to think… She realized that such wonderful pottery could only be done from a master of the arts… and to become a master you can’t live around such luxury and wealth… Material goods only become a distraction and takes away from the elegant pieces being created. He simply put his heart into his work. He didn’t have anyone else in his life to give it to so he gave it to his work… But it wasn’t work for him… it was his passion. She wanted to talk to the man some more, but she learned enough today and went home with a smile on her face.
(I’m trying to bring up two parts in this story, but focusing mainly on one. Being a person of observation I watch what goes on. I see all the time people get hit on… flirted with… tried to get taken home because they are attractive… but it stops right there… It’s exactly the saying never judge a book by its cover… Always look beyond just the appearance. You learn so much more about a person. Never assume if someone can get any person to talk to them by just walking by doesn’t ever have their own hardships. To me I think that is a hardship alone. And also for the person that doesn’t get noticed is a hardship as well. Honestly I’m glad I’m not such attractive blonde with wavy locks and sexy curves! (If I was a girl that is) Seriously, I don’t want to linger on the that that nasty old man just undressed me in his mind as I passed him. I’m glad I’m just some meh guy that doesn’t get any looks or very few… That just means to me that someone that gets to know me is really getting to know the real me. This isn’t about me though… it’s about you or that person next to you or across the hall… Never pass judgment or make an assumption about someone until you are in their shoes… until you see just who they are. And yes it’s not easy to do so… Many of us are very guarded… but try and maybe you will be allowed to enter in even if just a little bit. Even go beyond looks… how about emotion? Someone may seem always happy and carrying a smile, but be in so much pain on the inside… I have been there… Take the time to care… and it’s not that hard to do!
My second point… sometimes the greatest work done is done by the simplest people… by someone that doesn’t live for luxury and fame, but lives on their passion knowing they are completely pleased with the work they do. This actually ties into a discussion that was done tonight… errr 4-6-09. It related to the show “Dirty Jobs.” Mike Rowe commented about the people doing this jobs that seem awful to most people are done by people that are happy. They just seem to have it made… they work as a team… the whistle while picking up road kill.. And I have experienced people that make $60,000 a yr selling jewelry nearly complaining every day about their job. People at my current job complaining and it’s one of the easiest jobs you can find that makes good money too. Seriously! It saddens me… Just never good enough for people… Where does it matter most? The trade skill jobs matter very much… everything around you was made by someone’s hard working hands. Have you ever tried to move a ton of sand with a shovel only six feet? I have and after two hours I was exhausted… and to think people do work like this every day and sometimes six days a week… but I bet they go home with such a sense of worth like no other. I go home from my current job feeling the same as if I just sat at the tv for eight hours… it has no meaning to me… I guess my point is distorted a bit… 1. Work with a passion and live a full life. 2. Before you complain know there is work out there that is more difficult than yours and pays half of what you make… 3. The people doing that work are happier than you… 4. What matters most to you? Making the big bucks to only find out you spend it just as fast buying bigger more expensive things to only realize you have that much more debt, taxes, etc to pay for… or a job you work with a passion.. going home a little tired, but with a sense of worth?)
There was a fair maiden as beautiful as can be. Every day she would wonder past the castle walls and be greeted by all the gents and not so gents… well many were not greets… but nearly pickup lines. She was just beautiful… long blonde hair, flowing elegant dress… the curves to desire… Each day she ventured along the castle admiring the pottery that seemed that the most skilled wealthy pottery that can be found in any far off land. The pieces were exceptional… only a true master could make such work… But once she started seeing someone she just got so much attention. She could have any guy do any task she wanted… Any gift she could get and sometimes without even asking… She wanted to eat at the pub with no open seats she would get nearly any seat offered to her. Wow! Life must be amazing… but for her… it was far from that.
It would seem that she should be happy… She could have anything in the world… but she doesn’t… She doesn’t have true happiness… it stops at her skin. She walks into a room and eyes just gaze at her beauty. And then it stops there. No one seems to go past that. Where it matters most. She lives a life of kindness and caring, but each day would be harder and harder because the favors in return and to be kind and caring, but to just be with such “eye candy.” Her heart became heavy… Days and nights became saddened. Each day she became more and more tired… she needed to figure out something to do.
She woke up early and started a morning stroll. She left before the sun came up to get out of the city limits. By time it was light out she was strolling by the stream alone… She placed her hands over her heart… said “I release you into the wild to be safe for I cannot trust anyone within the city walls…” That instant a dove flew from her hands… “Each day I will come and visit you to make sure you are ok…” She just delivered her heart into the dove. No one would earn her heart because no one would really see it… see her for just who she is. They only get lost in her beauty… People think and dream of being so beautiful… but it’s not an easy living.
Each day she would stroll by the river and make sure the dove would be near…. Just in case… she never gave up hope completely. But one morning the dove wasn’t there… she looked and looked, but didn’t find that dove. She even ventured far down the river and past a little hut that always had a fire going and seemed ever so busy. The next day she looked and looked and didn’t find the dove… passed that same house, but saw something this time, but the person did not ever look up once. Next day a bit more empty… she ventured again… still no dove… has her heart flown away for no one to ever have? Again… the person at the hut kept his head down yet again. A week passed and no dove… no looks from the man at the hut… She has lost hope, but each day she kept on looking to fill that emptiness.
Two weeks later…. She still has no dove... no heart… She stopped at the hut… She went up to the man… “I have passed by her for two weeks now and you have not even looked at me once.” The man responded, “I don’t need to look you in the eyes to know just who you are. I know your beauty even though I have never seen you. I don’t need to see you. It doesn’t matter how your hair looks, how tall you are, what you wear.” The girl was curious…. Why is he saying these things…. After a pause… The man pulled out from behind some bushes a dove… with a bandage on its wing. “I found this dove injured by the shore… I picked it up and held it close. For two weeks I tended to this wonderful creature and learned so much about it. It’s faint heart didn’t beat for one, but for two… for you… It fell to see if anyone would notice. Each day I shared the warmth of myself to help it recover. I know who you are without even meeting you. You have such a warmth inside you… such a glow… such pain… Some days I thought the dove wouldn’t make it, but I never gave up… I just gave it that much more care to keep it going.” The man still never looking up… “The dove is better… here is your heart back… Don’t let it go, but keep it close and well guarded. Never give up hope. If you do the right person will just walk right by you. Take back your heart and know that there are people that really do care no matter how rare they may be.” He reached out to give the dove back to her. Still not looking up. She grabbed the dove and as soon as she did he turned around and went behind his hut… Curiosity struck the fair maiden… She just had to see what he did day in and day out… She always say smoke burning from the back, but never knew just what he did… and what she say amazed her eyes… He was the potter that provided the work ever so elegant being shown at the castle. She never imagined such work to be done here. Until she stopped to think… She realized that such wonderful pottery could only be done from a master of the arts… and to become a master you can’t live around such luxury and wealth… Material goods only become a distraction and takes away from the elegant pieces being created. He simply put his heart into his work. He didn’t have anyone else in his life to give it to so he gave it to his work… But it wasn’t work for him… it was his passion. She wanted to talk to the man some more, but she learned enough today and went home with a smile on her face.
(I’m trying to bring up two parts in this story, but focusing mainly on one. Being a person of observation I watch what goes on. I see all the time people get hit on… flirted with… tried to get taken home because they are attractive… but it stops right there… It’s exactly the saying never judge a book by its cover… Always look beyond just the appearance. You learn so much more about a person. Never assume if someone can get any person to talk to them by just walking by doesn’t ever have their own hardships. To me I think that is a hardship alone. And also for the person that doesn’t get noticed is a hardship as well. Honestly I’m glad I’m not such attractive blonde with wavy locks and sexy curves! (If I was a girl that is) Seriously, I don’t want to linger on the that that nasty old man just undressed me in his mind as I passed him. I’m glad I’m just some meh guy that doesn’t get any looks or very few… That just means to me that someone that gets to know me is really getting to know the real me. This isn’t about me though… it’s about you or that person next to you or across the hall… Never pass judgment or make an assumption about someone until you are in their shoes… until you see just who they are. And yes it’s not easy to do so… Many of us are very guarded… but try and maybe you will be allowed to enter in even if just a little bit. Even go beyond looks… how about emotion? Someone may seem always happy and carrying a smile, but be in so much pain on the inside… I have been there… Take the time to care… and it’s not that hard to do!
My second point… sometimes the greatest work done is done by the simplest people… by someone that doesn’t live for luxury and fame, but lives on their passion knowing they are completely pleased with the work they do. This actually ties into a discussion that was done tonight… errr 4-6-09. It related to the show “Dirty Jobs.” Mike Rowe commented about the people doing this jobs that seem awful to most people are done by people that are happy. They just seem to have it made… they work as a team… the whistle while picking up road kill.. And I have experienced people that make $60,000 a yr selling jewelry nearly complaining every day about their job. People at my current job complaining and it’s one of the easiest jobs you can find that makes good money too. Seriously! It saddens me… Just never good enough for people… Where does it matter most? The trade skill jobs matter very much… everything around you was made by someone’s hard working hands. Have you ever tried to move a ton of sand with a shovel only six feet? I have and after two hours I was exhausted… and to think people do work like this every day and sometimes six days a week… but I bet they go home with such a sense of worth like no other. I go home from my current job feeling the same as if I just sat at the tv for eight hours… it has no meaning to me… I guess my point is distorted a bit… 1. Work with a passion and live a full life. 2. Before you complain know there is work out there that is more difficult than yours and pays half of what you make… 3. The people doing that work are happier than you… 4. What matters most to you? Making the big bucks to only find out you spend it just as fast buying bigger more expensive things to only realize you have that much more debt, taxes, etc to pay for… or a job you work with a passion.. going home a little tired, but with a sense of worth?)
Story 5
Who Would You Be?
Today is a day that many lives are changed forever… Work has just ended… It’s time to head home… usual routine. But today… the routine won’t be the same… Right before the drivers eyes an accident happens… a car from incoming lane swerves in the next lane hitting a vehicle head on… seeing such a site is terrifying enough… but seeing a child crash through the windshield and hit the road is even more devastating. The driver that just left work stops the car and runs out ignoring either car and runs to the child… It’s a little girl looking to be around eight years old… The person is down on their knees… lifts up the little girl seeing she has been pierced and is bleeding all around… The driver is in tears… telling this little girl that help will be here soon… that you have to hang on… you are full of greatness and you need to stay with me… The little girl looked into the drivers eyes… “Help is already here… looking down at me… You are an angel holding me… noticing me… ready to take me home… My greatness you say I contain is now within you.” The driver said, “I’m not an angel… I’m just someone that cares…” The little girls barely is able to speak… “Hold me until I’m home.” The driver holds the little girl tight as she gives her last breath.
(That is the story, but let me paint the picture… The person that caused the wreck is a drunk driver… lost their job… felt like there is nothing good in their life and went out to a bar to drink the sorrows away… The parents of the little girl were too focused on getting to where they were heading and couldn’t be late… that they didn’t make sure their daughter was buckled in… There is a crowd gathered around the scene… The driver that left work making an honest living is the one on the ground with the little girl that is no more… And my question to you… Who are you? Are you the person that thinks you just don’t care anymore that you would put the life of other people in jeopardy? That you don’t realize that you being irresponsible and unable to drive that your car is now a two thousand pound weapon? That your troubled life just ruined an innocent one? Or are you the parents? So caught up in your busy life that you fail to do what you are supposed to be… a parent… a protector of your child… that you would rather be on time than to make sure your children are safe? I would miss a meeting with the president if I knew it was because I was making sure my daughter was safe. Or are you the innocent bystanders… just standing there watching… You don’t really care the who’s, but that chaos has your drawn there and you just have to see the mangled wreck and blood all over… Would you be the one person that runs to the little girl and tries all you can to save her? Her blood covering your clothes… and all you care is for her to survive… because you can love someone you don’t even have to know…? If you ask me who would I be? I have thought about a week on this and as much as I would say I would love to be the driver that runs to the little girls rescue… I don’t think I would be that one… I would if some unforeseen power would let me… take place of the little girl… I would give her my life so she can continue to live and carry on her greatness to the world and I would pass on… I would leave this earth a little 4yr old and that would be so hard decide… so hard… but what if that was my little girl laying there? And some stranger gave their life to save her… If I gave my life for that girl I would leave her with one thing… That she would have to share her greatness with my daughter and in time help her understand why I chose such an act… And that I will always watch over her. Reality… I know I can’t just switch places, but I would do all I could to save that little girl even if it meant giving her all my blood to nearly the last drop… Children are our future and if they see the greatness of others now and live with that greatness they can pass it along. I know this is a harsh cruel world… but I choose to not give up hope.)
(That is the story, but let me paint the picture… The person that caused the wreck is a drunk driver… lost their job… felt like there is nothing good in their life and went out to a bar to drink the sorrows away… The parents of the little girl were too focused on getting to where they were heading and couldn’t be late… that they didn’t make sure their daughter was buckled in… There is a crowd gathered around the scene… The driver that left work making an honest living is the one on the ground with the little girl that is no more… And my question to you… Who are you? Are you the person that thinks you just don’t care anymore that you would put the life of other people in jeopardy? That you don’t realize that you being irresponsible and unable to drive that your car is now a two thousand pound weapon? That your troubled life just ruined an innocent one? Or are you the parents? So caught up in your busy life that you fail to do what you are supposed to be… a parent… a protector of your child… that you would rather be on time than to make sure your children are safe? I would miss a meeting with the president if I knew it was because I was making sure my daughter was safe. Or are you the innocent bystanders… just standing there watching… You don’t really care the who’s, but that chaos has your drawn there and you just have to see the mangled wreck and blood all over… Would you be the one person that runs to the little girl and tries all you can to save her? Her blood covering your clothes… and all you care is for her to survive… because you can love someone you don’t even have to know…? If you ask me who would I be? I have thought about a week on this and as much as I would say I would love to be the driver that runs to the little girls rescue… I don’t think I would be that one… I would if some unforeseen power would let me… take place of the little girl… I would give her my life so she can continue to live and carry on her greatness to the world and I would pass on… I would leave this earth a little 4yr old and that would be so hard decide… so hard… but what if that was my little girl laying there? And some stranger gave their life to save her… If I gave my life for that girl I would leave her with one thing… That she would have to share her greatness with my daughter and in time help her understand why I chose such an act… And that I will always watch over her. Reality… I know I can’t just switch places, but I would do all I could to save that little girl even if it meant giving her all my blood to nearly the last drop… Children are our future and if they see the greatness of others now and live with that greatness they can pass it along. I know this is a harsh cruel world… but I choose to not give up hope.)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Why my day became sad....
I love to think. Just love it. Hence my silence when I'm out and about. Watching and thinking. It's what I do. I thought about an idea... a movie... book... just an idea to try and have an influence. My idea would be to just be like a slide show. It would show a picture of a person. Either then or maybe how they would look today. They would be no longer on earth. The person shown would have died in one way or another by some control of humans. Example. Show image of a six year old girl. This is Sarah. She was raped and beaten to death at the age of six. Here is her today. The one who found a cure for Aids. This is John. (image of 22 year old) Died fighting for this country. Here is him at fifty six. He created a system that manages an anger within oneself. Crime in the whole country is down forty five percent. It would just have person after person that didn't choose to die, but did by someone else's hand. Is greatness brought upon someone before the even enter the world is what I started thinking about.
I can add someone to this in my own experience. Was greatness brought in this little being even before being brought out in the world? I will never know. This little being never entered this world... Entering this world for this little being was probably just unthinkable. (I really can't put what I thought... just can't)
I just finished high school. I was dating someone seriously while still in school. She was a year younger. In case no one caught the paragraph above. She became pregnant. She was a senior at the time. We played the keep everything a secret until everything starts becoming very obvious, which they already started happening. My parents found out first. My mom... eh... no big deal... my dad a bit upset, but it happens... Next was her parents. Her dad was a great guy. Always seemed calm and I never heard any anger come from him... Her mom on the other hand... Nice one second explosive the next. Very tempered. I don't think physical, but her voice is powerful enough. We told her parents. They had an idea and the dad asked calmly that it's time for me to leave. He then asked if my parents knew and I said yes. What came next was something to never expect.
Five and a half months into the pregnancy. Her mom called her a disgrace to the family... just tore her apart. Her family was Catholic... I guess her moms pride overpowered any catholic beliefs. I did everything. Everything. I went to planned parenthood... I had one of my supervisors call his lawyer brother to find out that a dad has zero rights when it's her body. The only hope I had was to stall the ordeal in four days because the baby would be too far along and be illegal. But I'm sure her mom knew the same. I even left a pleading note on her dads car to rethink this decision. I was confronted by the girl I was with to not hurt her family even more.
The process.... it was a two day process. The first day the wall of the uterus had to get some seaweed applied to it to have it expand to prep for extraction. This was my final plea chance. The girl called me up saying about her pain and if I could bring her a heating pad. And I did. Note at five and a half months you can feel a baby kicking.. and I felt the kicks many times. I told her to not go through with it. That baby knows she is going to die. The girl said the baby has been more frantic with her movements. The baby did know something was going to happen. Mom is not giving good signals and the baby picked it up. I tried saying see... the baby knows. But nothing.
We tried to salvage our relationship by being secretive. We even tried to go to prom together... but too much pain and we could barely look at each other. She was torn up. I had her brother threaten me when he caught me on ICQ under a different screen name. Said he had to take her to the clinic... and I told him you had a choice to not take her. A college kid still completely under control by her mom. We just slipped away and never spoke again.
My question... was my baby destined for greatness and did not even get the chance? I did not even get a chance to see what my baby looked like and I will never know.
I can add someone to this in my own experience. Was greatness brought in this little being even before being brought out in the world? I will never know. This little being never entered this world... Entering this world for this little being was probably just unthinkable. (I really can't put what I thought... just can't)
I just finished high school. I was dating someone seriously while still in school. She was a year younger. In case no one caught the paragraph above. She became pregnant. She was a senior at the time. We played the keep everything a secret until everything starts becoming very obvious, which they already started happening. My parents found out first. My mom... eh... no big deal... my dad a bit upset, but it happens... Next was her parents. Her dad was a great guy. Always seemed calm and I never heard any anger come from him... Her mom on the other hand... Nice one second explosive the next. Very tempered. I don't think physical, but her voice is powerful enough. We told her parents. They had an idea and the dad asked calmly that it's time for me to leave. He then asked if my parents knew and I said yes. What came next was something to never expect.
Five and a half months into the pregnancy. Her mom called her a disgrace to the family... just tore her apart. Her family was Catholic... I guess her moms pride overpowered any catholic beliefs. I did everything. Everything. I went to planned parenthood... I had one of my supervisors call his lawyer brother to find out that a dad has zero rights when it's her body. The only hope I had was to stall the ordeal in four days because the baby would be too far along and be illegal. But I'm sure her mom knew the same. I even left a pleading note on her dads car to rethink this decision. I was confronted by the girl I was with to not hurt her family even more.
The process.... it was a two day process. The first day the wall of the uterus had to get some seaweed applied to it to have it expand to prep for extraction. This was my final plea chance. The girl called me up saying about her pain and if I could bring her a heating pad. And I did. Note at five and a half months you can feel a baby kicking.. and I felt the kicks many times. I told her to not go through with it. That baby knows she is going to die. The girl said the baby has been more frantic with her movements. The baby did know something was going to happen. Mom is not giving good signals and the baby picked it up. I tried saying see... the baby knows. But nothing.
We tried to salvage our relationship by being secretive. We even tried to go to prom together... but too much pain and we could barely look at each other. She was torn up. I had her brother threaten me when he caught me on ICQ under a different screen name. Said he had to take her to the clinic... and I told him you had a choice to not take her. A college kid still completely under control by her mom. We just slipped away and never spoke again.
My question... was my baby destined for greatness and did not even get the chance? I did not even get a chance to see what my baby looked like and I will never know.
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